Fantasie eines Einzelnen

SO THERE IS THAT COUPLE, THEY SIT AND DINE, THEY TALK TO, AND SEE ONLY, EACH OTHER. THE WORLD, FOR THEM, DOES NOT EXIST.

I WILL BREAK THEM APART. I WILL MAKE THEM AVAILABLE TO THE WORLD. I WILL HOLD THEM RESPONSIBLE. FOR THE DAWN OF THE CITY OF THE FAITHFULLEST FRIEND. FOR THE PASSING OF FRANCES WILLARD, OF JANE ADAMS, AND THE PASSING OF MELUSINA FAY PEIRCE. FOR DEATH, IN PARTICULAR, OF THIS BOY, ONE GRADE BELOW US, KILLED BY HIS FRIEND WHO STARED FROM THE DRIVER’S SEAT INTO THE DARKNESS THEY BOTH ENTERED, AND ONLY HE SURVIVED WHO HAS CALLED IT UPON THE LANDS OF THEIR YOUTHFUL HEARTS, ONLY TO BEGIN WITH.

NEED I MENTION THE VIOLENCE THAT IS IN THE WORLD? THIS VIOLENCE HAS NOT YET TOUCHED THEIR LIVES.

WHEN THEY ARE FULLY SINGLED OUT, WHEN I HAVE THEM WHERE I WANT THEM, ALL ALONE, THEY WON’T BE ABLE TO, ANY LONGER, DENY IT.

YET, NOT TO EVOKE VIOLENCE IS MY AIM, I WISH NOT TO CALL UPON WAR FOR THE SAKE OF WAR. THEY ARE THE GOLDEN PREY OF MY LONELY HUNTING HEART, AND IT IS THEY WHO I MEAN, NOT ANYTHING BEYOND THEM. YET, BY POINTING AT THEM, I WILL MAKE THEM SEE BEYOND THE CONFINES OF THEIR UNION.

I WILL CHAIN THEIR ARROGANT AND FRAGILE LIVES TO THE WISDOM OF COUNTLESS UNRELATED DEATHS, I WILL OPEN THEIR EYES TO MURDER, SUSTAINED MURDER, THIS PUBLIC MURDER JUST ACROSS THE HALL, PRIVATE MURDER ON DESERTED SHORES, MURDER IN THE DEATH TRACT, MURDER IN THE HILLS OF SURINAM.

I SAY, THERE IS MEANING TO THEIR LIVES, BUT THEY CANNOT FACE IT, AND SO THEY SAY THIS LIFE IS MEANINGLESS. YET, THE MEANING OF THEIR LIVES IS THE GUILT THEIR LIFE IS BUILT ON.

THEY SAY THAT NOTHING HAPPENS, WHEN IT HAPPENS REALLY JUST NOW. THEY SAY THAT GUILT IS ONLY ABSTRACT THESE DAYS, LIKE THE LABOR THAT MAKES THINGS CONCRETE – THOSE CONCRETE THINGS THAT SILENTLY SOURROUND US, TO WHICH WE ATTACH THE MEANING AND AFFECTION OF OUR ELOQUENCE – LIKE THAT VERY SIGNIFICANT CHAIN OF UNIVERSAL LABOR BY WHICH THE LIFE IS SHAPED INTO ITS UNDENIABLE ASPECT, LIKE THAT INCESSANT LABOR, I SAY, IS BROKEN DOWN INTO VARIOUS MEANINGLESS TASKS, SO THAT THE LINK BETWEEN THOSE CONCRETE DYING LIVES AND – WHO CAN DENY IT? – LIVING DEATHS REMAINS ABSTRACT TO THE PERSONAL PERCEPTION; SO THAT DEATH REMAINS ABSTRACT WITHIN THE TERMS RESERVED FOR IT AND FLEES THE BODY; AND SO THAT THE CONCRETE DEATH OF THOSE MENTIONED OR UNMENTIONED REMAINS FOREVER BEYOND THE GRASP OF THOSE WHO GO ON LIVING DESPITE IT ALL, AND WHO ARE THEREBY, INEVITABLE CONCLUSION, RESPONSIBLE FOR THE DEATH OF THOSE WHO’S DEATH THEY MUST DENY, WHO ARE GUILTY, REPEAT, GUILTY OF IT ALL. THEY DO NOT KNOW ANY BETTER. YET KNOW IT, THEY MUST. THE HEARTLESS, THEY WILL COME TO MOURN THE ABSENCE OF THIS HEART THEY LOST. THOSE IGNORANTLY SPEAKING, THEY WILL CRAVE FOR THE WISDOM OF THE VOICE, MY VOICE LONG PASSED DOWN IN SILENCE. THEY WILL LEARN. THIS LESSON. THEY WILL LEARN THIS LESSON BY THE HEART.

AND THAT LIFE’S UNSEEN MEANING WILL BEFORE ITS FIRST PERCEPTION LIFT SLOWLY FROM THEIR HEADS AND LEAVE THEM ALTOGETHER EMPTY TO ENTIRELY NEW PERCEPTIONS AND REFLEXIONS, THOSE WONDERFUL PERFLEXIONS OF THE GOLDEN LANDSCAPE OF PERFECTION!

FOR THE PRIZE OF FAILURE. EVEN FOR THE PRIZE OF GUILT. EVEN IF EVOKING GUILT IS NOT MY AIM. EVEN IF I AM WEIGHED DOWN BY FAILURE.

Who are you to talk like that?

I AM THE AVANTGARDE OF THE LONELY AND THE DESERTER OF THE HEART. WHENCE COMES MY TALE.

SO LISTEN NOW

TO THE SPEAKING OF THE HEART.